日落结束后，窗外是科幻片的那种冷色调，都泛着蓝光，有不知道什么东西燃烧过的焦躁味道。远处新的图书馆正在进行最后的内部整理，看样子过不了多久就能用上。在楼上往外看的时候，会有点突然地平静下来，40多度的焦躁好像也有了去处。

不知廉耻的又过了个把月，最近这星期没有空调40多度高温的日子浪费起来好像也有了理由。没有长进，也没有在做事，只是空耗着等，跟猪一样吃垃圾食物，睡垃圾觉，看垃圾电影，感觉就像回到了封建农耕时代，连走路的步子都快不起来。

澳洲博士开的书店终于还是熬不下去转让了，到Macquarie大学去教书，人闲了就上网消磨时光，竟然想起八百年没见过的我，嘘寒问暖一番问的我无地自容，也只好强颜欢笑，实际上恨不得在脸谱上找个地缝钻进去，真是无颜见江东父老。不管是怎么对自己失望还是对这个国家失望，最后日子还是要一天天过，咱们中国人最擅长的就凑合着过日子，木办法。

要到南广州国出小半月的私差，听说南方温度要比北方凉快一点，最近稀里糊涂干扰视线的小事情太多，形形色色的人死去活来的瞎扯淡，就容我暂时消停消停吧。

昨天半夜12点的时候还有小朋友在马路中央踢球，真是放假了。早上被热醒的时候才6点多，外面阳光普照，远处飘着一块巴掌大的云，想要跟天气预报一样形成暴雨，还要加以时日吧。

"In 1972 in Branzburg v. Hayes, this court ruled against the right of reporters to withhold the names of their sources before a grand jury, and it gave the power to the government to imprison those reporters who did. It was a five-four decision. Close. In his dissent in Branzburg, Justice Stewart said, "As the years pass, the power of government becomes more and more pervasive. Those in power" he said, "whatever their politics want only to perpetuate it, and the people are the victims." Well, the years have passed, and that power is pervasive. Ms. Armstrong could have buckled to the demands of the government. She could have abandoned her promise of confidentiality. She could have simply gone home to her family. But to do so would mean that no source would ever speak to her again, and no source would ever speak to her newspaper again and then tomorrow when we lock up journalists from other newspapers, we'll make those publications irrelevant as well, and thus we'll make the First Amendment irrelevant. And then how will we know if a president has covered up crimes? Or if an army officer has condoned torture? We, as a nation, will no longer be able to hold those in power accountable to those whom they have power over. And what then is the nature of government when it has no fear of accountability? We should shudder at the thought. Imprisoning journalists? That's for other countries. That's for countries who fear their citizens, not countries that cherish and protect them. Some time ago, I began to feel the personal human pressure on Rachel Armstrong, and I told her that I was there to represent her and not a principle. And it was not until I met her that I realized that with great people, there's no difference between principle and the person."

-- 《Nothing But the Truth》

除了镜头拉的离人脸近到令人发指，整部电影都还不错。故事比较切合国情。演员还是珍珠港的Kate看头多一点。关于国家机器的反抗和个人理想的坚守，无论在哪个国家，都是如此珍贵。

Photo from Keso

翻墙术介绍，点击阅读全文

标题很矫情，我知道

The thing is, you and your unconscious inborn ego and arrogant or anything else somehow made you feel you are kinda better. 

Or at least could do better, even you didn’t however it maybe.

The pathetic part is, you have been blaming all the other things except yourself.

The more pathetic part is, even when you found out the material conditions wasn’t the very key point, and you didn’t realize the biggest obstacle of your life is just thyself.

The more and more pathetic part is, even when you realized which the enemy of your life is, you still can do nothing or not willing to do anything about it.

The more and more and more pathetic part is, even when finally figured out how to deal with the foe of your life, you still did not work out or after several stupid powerless attempts you just quit.

The most pathetic part is, after all these tortuous roads you have been through, you still without a little bit of luck, anyhow, you failed.

So, that’s why they call you a loser and you have to admit it from the bottom of your heart.

===================

原作那首近乎于打油诗的东西，用所谓的英文原文搜索，几乎都是中国人的东西，所以当有人说这首诗不是泰戈尔写的时候，虽没有更有力证据，考虑过我们大家强有力的杜撰臆想能力，我还是相信原作作者应该是John/Jane Doe，有功夫的理科生们和考据癖的文科生们都可以仔细求证一下然后贡献一下伟大的wiki，趁还不用再翻墙折腾，完了你们通不通知我都没有关系。

价格质感各不同的食材，或粗或细加工后进入胃部，油脂给味蕾带来欢娱可以忽略，腹部的满足也不值一提，重要的是关系得到缓和，关系或谈判能有进一部发展，间或能有一盘清淡的在满席肉欲之中卓然独立，无论是高贵酒店，特色小店还是报价实在的连锁经营里头，大都会有食客破格的赞赏在上面。

在外面再怎么和各式关系周旋，回到自己床上的时候，累还是不累，也都由不得自己都要去睡觉，就跟饿了怎么着都还是要吃东西一个道理。和自己过不去，饿死也就只能让结果更坏。而如果能从现实中抽身，即便有那么几分钟，似乎也会让自己从现实中抽离。

夏日葱郁树叶被风吹起的背面，互相摇晃拍打，小雨，这个城市空气好的离谱的时候，可以看到遥远的楼群，忽然不知神游到那里，这样的时间，也就像一桌荤食中有这一盘爽口清淡的吧。

穿简单的素色衣服，连续几日吃素，保持一定的饥饿感，仿似心里也有了可以自欺的佛缘。